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Loosing- is a art..

Thursday, January 28, 2010 Posted by Bikram
Human nature is to win, I mean we don’t do anything with the thought of loosing , anything and everything we do is with a thought that we are gonna win it, it maybe a Lottery we bought, seeing your country play a cricket match, Getting a job , buying a house etc etc etc .. By win I don’t mean it’s a battle or something, all I mean is that we go for something in a hope to get it, there are tons of books available, Maro a search on Google, Various pages pop up telling us how to do things.

But In all my experience whatever limited experience I have had so far, Learning to win is easy, it’s the other way round, learning to loose which is a Tough thing to learn. We have been brought up with the idea, which is sort of inserted into us, that if you fail it will be such a humiliation for the family. Parents will not be able to show their faces in the society if the child fails or even gets lesser grades then the child next door.

What we don’t realize is that if compared there are more of loosers then winners , a Race in the stadium , 8 athletes make a run, there is only one who comes First the rest seven loose.. SO for each winner there is a vast number of loosers. ( by loosers I don’t mean they are nobody's, Loosing here just means they did not win) Ok I can understand that the above example of athletes is a bit over the top, cause they are all professionals and know how to cope with the lose, But in general are we really able to cope with it all. These days in schools it’s drummed into a child that success comes only if you win, do excellent in your studies, and work your ass off... But is IT REALLY.

I am not saying I am very successful but I am in a much better position than a lot of people who were in class in school, we had 30+ students in the class. I was never a bright student, the target was to get 36 marks out of 100, because that was the passing marks. My teachers especially my House master MR. Sharma would swear that I would not pass this year, next year and so on... But I passed while others got 90% and were thought to become big names... It did happen a bit but not with all, a few are at home living on the hard earned money there parents toiled for.

I remember just after my 10th class, we had a choice to go to college for 11th 12th or stay in school to do the same, My principal told my parents that since I was good in sports and all, I should remain in school for another two years, but I will not be able to get the Science subjects, My parents wanted me to be a engineer or doctor.. so sports was not a choice.. So I came to College took up sciences...

I almost flunked in my 1st year at college, well two subjects I failed so it’s a fail, but someone said to go for re-evaluation, I lied to my dad gave the fees and VOILA got the pass marks in One subject , while in the other I got what was called Compartment. It was a nightmare I had not told my parents about it. A few people thought of me as a looser, I wish there was someone at that time to talk to me and tell me , It’s not end of the world, Marks is not what makes a Man, it’s what you have in that brain of yours that makes you one.

Everyone is in a rat race to become number one and in that race if they fail it’s like end of the world, they become devdas... Any small hiccup in life,

Your girlfriend leaves you its end of the world.
You don’t get the job, its end of the world.
You don’t pass an exam its end of world not just for yourself but the whole family...

RUBBISH it is ... We need to teach people the art of loosing, how to cope with it, we have become such bad loosers. If you loose or fail, Don’t Worry, take a deep breath, Sit up and prepare yourself for the second attempt or the third so on... If you give up there is always someone behind you ready to go over you.

Girte hain sheh-sawar hi maidan-e-jung mein...

And all who read , take my example I am crap at studies, crap at almost everything but here I am, I am not rich but I earn enough, I learnt to cope with loss. If I start to give examples it will be a VERY LONG LIST.

LEARN THE ART OF LOOSING to succeed, because one time or other someone will triumph you, so be prepared to cope with it. Teach your near dear ones the art of coping with a loss, beleive me they will come out stronger and better human beings.


35 Response to "Loosing- is a art.."

  1. NoFaIrYtAlE Says:

    Awesome post!!! I totally relate wid u...I nvr failed bt dts juz due to my dad..i wz way too scared to disappoint him...I passed wid juz border marks in 11th...Science I like but not wot they teach...I lyk experiments...Bt der aint no marks for that...derz this shayari i like:
    Arz kiya hain
    Wah wah
    Soch samajh ke na ki padhai jisne, usne jeevan bigaad liya,

    or man lagakar jisne ki padhai...
    Sala usne bhi kya ukhaad liya!!!

    cheers :)

  2. Raj - Only name sake !! Says:

    Wonderful post buddy :)

  3. Harman Says:

    ..Good.. winner or looser part of life...but not end of the world!!!
    nce post!!

  4. Dharmjit Says:

    very well said,
    we only learn from our failures from wins we learnt nothing .so just chill take it easy whether u succeed or not in a task but u should put ur hard work, determination in that task.
    but if we didnt put our effort then there is no meaning of failure or sucess.
    Arz kiya hain
    Wah wah
    Soch samajh ke na ki padhai jisne, usne jeevan bigaad liya,

    or man lagakar jisne ki padhai...
    Sala usne bhi kya ukhaad liya!!!
    loved that one

  5. Madhu Says:

    wow..thats somethin i get..:) I almost lose at everything i do..but let me say,people who lose have an experince to boast of,a lesson to be are quite satisfied..and whats life if u have nothing to crib about or work towards......??

  6. Tripat "Prerna" Says:

    Gosh! m short of words...
    such a wonderful near to reality

  7. Chandrika Shubham Says:

    Nice post! Losses taught us the art of winning.

    It is also said, 'Try, try, try, try again'.

    Best wishes. :)

  8. Insignia Says:

    Boy!! You really have turned philosophical!! No really! how true. We are all taught to win all the time, isnt it? Else humiliation, failure, black-sheep... what all!!

    I second every word of yours and just loved this post. thanks a lot for this wonderful post. :-)

  9. smitzy Says:

    I'm here after a LOOOOOOOONG long time but glad to see new posts :D seeing how I'm not writing much these days.

    Coming to business, I don't want to mince my words but, in order to be successful in life, everyone needs to understand the meaning of failure too. Things are not always sugary-sweet coated and they are not meant to be. Some bitter experiences add to the flavour of life and I think it makes one stronger and more determined to face all eventualities in future with greater zeal.

    One needs to have a sound heart and mind though and still have the strength of will to get up after every fall. Committing suicides and hurting themselves is an act of stupidity and cowardice.

    Life's a battleground and its a survival of fittest out there. Even if one is not the strongest, if one keeps fighting back and perseveres, there is no limit to his/her growth.

    Great post and words of wisdom from you bik :)

  10. Hari Says:

    Bikram .. did you have a few drinks before you wrote this piece? You mood seems a little meloncholy (just kidding).

    I think it is better if we see life in terms of experiences rather than winning or losing.

  11. Neha Says:

    Bikram, this is one of the best posts I have read..this is all so very looks like you wrote it in one go..awesomely fantabulous buddy :)

    PS: The verification word for me was idiot :(

  12. Shahid Says:

    Man....that was very can we succeed unless and until we know how to loose, its a very important thing and I am glad you came forward with it


  13. Gaurav Says:

    Very well said.

    Most of the toppers and the non-toppers end up doing the same type of work

    I am an experienced looser. I wanted to become a doctor, but I failed to clear the pre-medicals.
    (There are many more)

    But still, I am happy with Computer Engineering, because (thank God) I am not pursuing medicine.

  14. smitzy Says:

    nothing new to comment but my verification word says hatedu :D

  15. Bikram Says:

    @NoFaIrYtAlE:- thank you. and loved your shayri.. i can relate to that too, the so called geniuses what have they got that i havent.. :)

    @Raj;- thank you buddy

    @Harman :- thank you

    @Dharmjit:- yes my friend we learn from our failures only.

    @Madhu :- well at least now you should not think that you loose everytime almost i mean, because each time you learn something so in truth you have not lost you have gained that experience :)

    @Tripat "Prerna": hey welcome to my blog and thanks for the comment and thanks for liking the article.

  16. Bikram Says:

    @NoFaIrYtAlE:- thank you. and loved your shayri.. i can relate to that too, the so called geniuses what have they got that i havent.. :)

    @Raj;- thank you buddy

    @Harman :- thank you

    @Dharmjit:- yes my friend we learn from our failures only.

    @Madhu :- well at least now you should not think that you loose everytime almost i mean, because each time you learn something so in truth you have not lost you have gained that experience :)

    @Tripat "Prerna": hey welcome to my blog and thanks for the comment and thanks for liking the article.

  17. Bikram Says:

    @Chandrika Shubham :- thanks for liking the post. and yes try try try try till you succeed

    @Insignia:- philosophical and me wowow.. thanks for the appreciation, and liking what i wrote, i was actually surprised so many people liked it

    @Smitzy:- Hey thanks for coming to my blog, really apreciated and thanks for liking the post.

    @Hari :- Now you here and the comment, this is special :) , No i had not had any drinks, i was just reading some article and was listening to a collegue going on about his son, And yes life in terms of experiences is what it should be Well said ...

    @Neha :- thank you , thank you.. and sorry about the word verification, dont shoot me .. its the i think they pick the random word.. :) This doesnot mean you dont come to my blog anymore :)

  18. Bikram Says:

    @Shahid :- Thank you for the nice comment and appreciation.

    @Gaurav:- thanks yeah most people end up doing the same type of work or lets say if not work then earning the same amount. Well i dont agree with you that you are a experienced looser no it cant be , cause you have experience so you have gained something :) so if we gain then we cant be loosers.

    @smitzy:- welcome again, the word well its true.. you do hate me :) now the world know yayyyyyy

  19. Tulika Says:

    Very well said...

    The art of losing, this has been the mantra of success behind every successful man.

    Great write up.
    I wish this idea pervades...

    Congratulations for such a post.

  20. Bikram Says:

    @Tulika :- thanks, Yeah its been the mantra But i hope it doesnot get stuck to me for long he he he he. Thanks for the lovely comment

  21. Anonymous Says:

    Cherry Saluja Wah...?? j enna college exam de peparan ch likheya hunda...tan gal kutch hor he hone c...main tan inna v nahi likh sakda....3 idiots is the best example...our parents must see it...say...aall is well...

  22. Praveen singla Says:

    Parveen Singla :Yeah Mann I AGREE ALL HEARTS OUT. Had our parents thout the same way world wod hav been a difrent place to live in.MY SON HAS BECOME A FAN OF U.

  23. Mrs Dimpy nain Says:

    Dimpy Nain great piece of writing bikram...i agree with u and i too fall in the similar category as u(not same :)as far as academics were concerned but did learn the lesoons that were important in life as i walked thru the various phases in life...what we need to do now is to empower our kids to look at life as a learning experience and hold their hands and lift them when they have a fall ,brush off the pain and gently nudge them to go on...

  24. Digvijay Singh Says:

    BHAJI TUSI CHAE... GAE ...............

  25. Anonymous Says:

    Hey Bikram, that was such a nice post and straight from heart. Agree with everything you have written here. Losing is not end of the world. Winning and losing are both part of the game. We are always thought that losing means shame and people would laugh at us if we lost in something. Mindset has to change. Loved this post. Blogrolling you :) I will back to read more posts!

  26. Anonymous Says:

    always taught* (typo)

  27. Bikram Says:

    @Cherry Paaji:- :) Eho taan hai JE PADHE hunde... hopefully our kids would do better ..

  28. Bikram Says:

    @Praveen:- Paaji Mera Fan ban gaya .. Vekhin ha hahaha panga na pai jaave. Nahin yaar kids should be let to do what they are good at, not forced in what we want them to do. ...

  29. Bikram Says:

    @Dimpy Mam :- thanks for liking this. Experience counts for lot more. Yeah we need to nudge them to go and face the world. unlike Me gettign thrashed :)

  30. Bikram Says:

    @Digvijay: Noble paaji Thank you thank you...

  31. Bikram Says:

    @evanescentthoughts :- Thanks for the lovely comment. and thanks for blogrolling me .. wowo...

    and please yes do visit back .. and not to worry about the TYPO... as long as the message gets across .. Thank you

  32. Rajeev Vikram Seth Says:

    U r absolutely right dear that we dont do anything to lose,but explain 'ART' in loosing.I know I am very poor in art work...!!

  33. Bikram Says:

    @Vikram:- yaar just my thoughts thats all.. nothing else. But thanks for the comment and Do keep visiting .. its nice to see my Friends commenting on my blog.

  34. Jerry Singh Says:


  35. Deep Dixit Says: