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Friends or Enemies

Friday, July 23, 2010 Posted by Bikramjit Singh Mann

Update 24-july-2010:- After reading a few comments that have come up, let me make one thing clear please, This article was not written to target anyone particular, or to RANT or anything , This article is a QUESTION who is better and the reasons I have given or I have to say that a ENEMY is far better then FRIENDS who are there just for the sake of it and otherwise dont give a F*&% . The example i have given are my personal experiences and my thoughts on the issue. I am sorry if it has offended anyone. MY FRIENDS KNOW WHO I AM , WHAT I AM. if not then they really need to consider WHAT They know about me. This is my take on who is better and why.


Lately I have been having weird thoughts running around in my stupid mind, and a statement that hit my brains was Why do they say?

"Keep your friends close but keep your Enemies Closer"

I think there was logic behind that, which according to me is

Trust: - Can we trust our friends so much... that they will be there when we need them, an enemy we can trust will be there to hurt us for sure when the time comes.

Hurt: - Friends hurt us more than our enemies, you see Enemies we know will hurt us so we are prepared for it, but what friends do is bad because we are not prepared, we don’t expect they will do such a thing Hence it hurts more.

So who is better Friend or Enemy?

Don’t you think an enemy always knows
               What we are doing ?
               What we are going through, because they keep their eyes on?

It works in their favour if they know us better... But Friends on other hand take us for granted, sometimes
they are not there when we need them most, they don't know what we are going through or what we are doing.

Friends don’t know us that much as an enemy would...

When a friend strikes we have no idea but at least since we know who the enemy is we know they will strike some-time, some-day.

Hate-Love: - We know our enemies hate us, so we don’t expect to be liked by them But friends now that are different because We expect them to care and love us, but how many friends do we have who actually do that, these days everyone is so busy in their own life that they forget to even ask you on a regular basis how you are, how you are doing, whats going on,

How you feeling...

Whereas a Enemy will always know the answers to all these questions somehow or the other as they will be
keeping a close eye on you.

Sometimes our friends become our enemies now that is a worst case scenario cause they might know our secrets but when an enemy becomes our friend they will always remain trustworthy to you. It is a FACT.

I hear people say your friends could betray you, but you never know what you can expect with your enemies.  Enemies are more lethal, because they are always scheming against but hey isn’t that a good thing
BECAUSE WE KNOW THEY ARE whereas when a friend betrays us we are helpless and get shattered.

Then there are friends who dont get tired saying how they are your best mates, how they miss you, how you are the first person they have come to talk, how they need you, and YET is you are DEAD or DYING they wont even have the thought of thinking about you.. a ENEMY would because they would be pleased you are Dead.

To top it all up there are FRIENDS who use you, when they need you or need something from you, you become there best friend but as and when its done , again its back to square one.. a ENEMY would never do that or you wont let them do this to you...

Have you heard a dialogue that the reason one of your Friends (so called) did not add you to there list of friends on facebook or gtalk or anywhere cause they did not want to mess up friendship, I mean what sort of reason is that.. and What with this crap BFF (BEST FRIENDS FOREVER) does it exist .. the only thing that exists is the BEST ENEMIES FOREVER.. not friends...

Then the Classic a million dollar line.. if you meet this friend or talk to them after long , the typical Oh i tried to get in touch, and the excuses they come out with

1. Did not have phone number
2. Did not have your email
3. There was no Cafe nearby
4. There was no light

What sort of PATHETIC excuses are those at least these  you will never have to hear from a enemy, because they will do anything to SPAM your inbox, get hold of you number to abuse you, and no cafe will be far for them to get hold of you.

So who is better a friend or an enemy?

PS:- So to all those hypocrite so called FRIENDS... stop this hypocracy and go and make a fool of someone else .. I for one am better off with my ENEMIES .. because they are far better then you and always will be ...


54 Response to "Friends or Enemies"

  1. Gaurav Says:

    I agree to it that enemies know more about you than your friends do.
    Enemies are there to stay, there is a coexistence of friends and enemies. Otherwise how will you differentiate between frnds and enemies?

    Hey but how can an enemy be better? Enemy will always hurt you (and you are prepared). A friend who hurts should be forgiven. If still he hurts then he is not a true friend.

    PS: I'm back!!!

  2. Neha Says:

    friend or enemy? who would want an enemy? stay without friends - that's better..

    I fail to understand our human nature..when we came in the world, we came alone..when we will die, we will die alone too..then why do we need people in transit?

    there are certain relationships which are unconditional..friendship is one of choose your friends..if you make a mistake in choosing them, then how can you blame friends there? you are to blame right? it is always easy to pass on the buck, difficult is to understand and let go..

    I do not agree with the whole post..sorry..


  3. Insignia Says:

    "I was talking to a good friend of mine a few days back, I was a bit disturbed with a few things going on in life, I was feeling down and sad, during the talk although they asked what was wrong I said one line saying
    "You know my father "... i got a response back as "hmmm" and then nothing and after that it was silence the talk ended and when I talked next to this person they did not even remember it... So what do you take from there..."

    After they responded with 'hmmm', why didn't you continue? Why didn't you ping back? Anything could have happened!!

    Sir, did you even have the courtesy of asking your friend in what situation he/she was that day? Was he/she at work? Was he/she held up with something? Was he/she herself down and depressed?

    NO!! You just assumed he/she would have to listen to you no matter what! Is it just because he/she was always accommodating and courteous? If he/she were your friend and for once, he/she did not respond the way you wanted them to respond, you decide otherwise?

    So it hurt you, yeah!! makes sense. Why do you expect? Friendship is not about give and take. Just because you were not heard, doesnt mean you were taken for granted.

    I beg to differ!! But your take on seems very immature and kiddish.

    Each and every person has numerous problems and issues in life. A friend cannot be a shoulder to cry on all the time. Its not possible for everyone to be there all the time! DO NOT EXPECT in FRIENDSHIP

    As long as they are kind and have good intentions, what more do you need from a friend? If you think enemies are better, now!! now!! no one would stop you Sir!!

  4. girlsguidetosurvival Says:

    Remember the tale of Raja and his moorkh mitr (monkey) who chopped his nose to scare away the fly from his nose :)

    I guess a wise enemy is better than foolish friend.

    But do we have enemies in our thirties too? I thought it was only in 20s when e were the center of universe and had egos sized Texas. :) Every thing was crisis as big as falling skies :)


    Waqt pe jo log kaam aaye woh ajnabi the mere apane to nahin the... My people and friends were there but due to distance and circumstance they were second, first were strangers and people I had just met few times.

    I guess I was blessed that I invested in good friends. No matter they call me or not I call them on their Birthdays and once or twice a year. May God never let me seek help from anyone, help from stangers is more acceptable to me as both of us know we may never meet again so the only way to return is to pay it forward to someone else in need.

    About enemies, there may be but for now
    Na kahu se dosti na kahu se bair...


    Desi Girl

  5. Bikramjit Says:

    @Gaurav:- thank you. and welcome back.. but a friend shud never hurt you .. thats why they r friends.

  6. Bikramjit Says:

    @Neha:- hmm you come after ages, I like your idea too.. stay with anyone yayyyyyyyyy..

    I fail to understand too, yep we came alone when we were born but i guess its human nature we like people around , at least i do maybe i am selfish. I feel that if I CAN care or think of someone then why cant they or why wont they.. if they dont then they shud go and find someone else who will listen to there whims.

    Yeah friendship is unconditional but it shud work BOTH ways.. not one sided.. Yeah i agree with you i MADE a mistake in choosing them guess i was blind, and I am not blaming them.. I am just asking a question and given a view of what i think so what shud it be...

    and YES i am to be blamed for being a idiot and falling on my head yet again.. i guess some people just dont learn.

    Thanks for reading the post, you know i always appreciate your comments as they are to the point and very true.. THANK YOU.
    hope next time i give you a chance to agree with me :)

  7. Bikramjit Says:

    @Insignia:- to respond to ur comment.. YES I did continue, rather i made a point of continuing but this person was more interested in knowing about the latest movie or something happening in the next room. and yes to cry out loud We are supposedly BEST FRIENDS.. HOW IS THAT I dont have any idea.

    I did not assume anything, the answer to your question, the answer is NO,
    he/she was doing nothing that day, he/she was not at work (not employed)
    he/she was not depressed

    and I have not decided otherwise and it was not ONE occasion, and No i dont expect anyone to listen to my matters, But yeah people who say they care for me or think for me then YES i am sure they can take out some time to at least listen if not do anything about it. I dont expect them to but making a fool they shud not do, when they want someone to hear them they shud go and find someone or that person who they listen to.

    I have had this great experience through my blogs of talking to some beautiful people who have listened to my stupidity not once but a lot many times and they did not evne know me Heck you are one person who has listened to me so many times, I m sure you dont expect anything from me.. SO is it wrong to expect it from a friend... I dont think so.
    what pissed me off is why do they go and come under the disguise of a FRIEND... and then say we are BEST FRIEND.. HELL WE ARE NOT ... and i definitely dont want such hypocrite friends.

    Anyway thank you for the visit and the comment.

    but yeah point taken

  8. Bikramjit Says:

    @Jeet (girlsguidetosurvival):- Thanks for the visit. agree with you

    Waqt pe jo log kaam aaye woh ajnabi the mere apane to nahin the

    I have experienced it myself and am lucky i found some people who are now apne.

    yeah please do prey for me too that may god never show me the day when i will have to seek help.. may god give me enough strength to bear it all alone and take it on.

    Thank you so much.

  9. Jaspreet Says:

    You know it's nobody's fault that they betray's we,who let them get close enough so that they get to know about our vulnerabilities where they can attack us to hurt us to the max possible extent.But it doesn't mean that true friends are just impossible to find...I would say that it's luck if you get to have even one.

  10. Shilpa Garg Says:

    Friends are important in one's life and without them life would be very lonely. It's true that over a period of time, many friendships fade away and thus those excuses. Keeping in touch is important and many a times, you move on in life too and thus forget the old friends.
    Also are they true friends or acquaintances??

    As for enemies, forgive your enemies, but never forget their names!! :)

  11. girlsguidetosurvival Says:


    Friendship is unconditional but respect is mutual. We pick our friends and we invest in them but with time we evolve and our needs and interests change. If our needs are not met we can part ways with civility. I really have problems with when people try to claim they are my friends or they introduce me as meet my friend... . For me it takes a lot of thought before using the word friend. Those I call friends have fared good on the test of time. Next yr me Rinks and me are celebrating 25 yrs of our friendship and I have promised stay alive. :)


    Some people jump to claim friendship and friend status while you are still thinking. They are needy and self centered. They are always engulfed in drama and perpetual crisis and they are looking out for listening ear. Then there are some people who like to be called friends and they are only interested in mundane things- movies, shopping or some other mindless venture.

    I equally split people I associate with. I have spiritual friends who fill my soul. Then relationship and family life discussors. Movie goer friends, and hobby friends who share my particular interest.

    I came to know this girl she declared me a friend. I was not very sure with it. One Sunday she called and asked if I was doing any thing. I said No, and she was at my door within an hour with some lousy dish she prepared and she wanted me to help her with waxing her legs :) . I asked her she didn't tell me she was coming over. Her response was "you said you were not doing anything or going any where." So, that does not mean I have to see your face and help you wax. At other times she would never have time for any of us in the group. Just because I stay in the hostel she can walk over to me and I have to think twice that her father is at home.

    There was another piece of work who was introducing me around as a friend. I had to put my foot down. One has to really work hard to be my friends at least. She would have all the cisis and dramas to share but when it came to listening she would say oh, lets talk something else; I don't want to listen about that...

    So Bikram would have wanted to talk because this person would have professed he was his friend. I do not believe in the enemy part of the post but definitely friends can't be wild flowers that can bloom in boquete for long; they have to be picked, pruned and watered regularly.



  12. gayathri-vishwanathan Says:

    It was pretty thought provoking...all i can say is, its good to have friends around coz when u r sad or happy, when u want to forget something or share happiness...

    But...but...u should never get dependent on them. For instance, my best friend and I hardly talk to each other. But she knows what is happening in my life and vice-a-versa. We are not siamese twins. We are detached yet united.

    Also, I would say its good to have enemies coz they motivate u 2 work harder in order to remain one up on them.

  13. sm Says:

    Life can surprise us, friend may become enemy and enemy may become good friend.
    like narration and your point.

  14. Neha Says:

    @ Bik, if you are going to expect, then you will always be unhappy.. but still, when you ask a question whether a friend is better or an enemy - I find that absurd at the first place! if everyone starts thinking like that, then god save the earth!

    @ DG, respect is mutual - I agree..but one of the points he mentioned here was that of hmmmm and no response from the friend.. if that thing hurt him so much, don't you think he should have finished off the matter there and there? making such a difference public - isn't that like disrespecting the friendship? I maybe wrong; but this is my opinion..friendship is a feeling and not investment..some feelings last long and some fade away with time..does it mean you stop living? does it mean you write a furious blog post on the person you once upon considered a friend? that's not friendship either right?

    sorry Bik, I have nothing personal against you, but I found your views quite contradicting ones!

  15. Nethra Says:

    I had many such friends...hypocrites kinds. They say I'm their best mate but only when they want me to do something for them and when it comes to them doing something for me, they behave as if I'm forcing my company on them and yeah, I have got those "I lost your number", "I was very busy" excuses many times. It hurts, really. But enemies motivate us to succeed, though they do it unknowingly. I would rather have 1000 enemies than a hypocritical swine for a friend.

  16. looking for maya Says:

    wow .. I guess the topic is such that comments are more like posts here .. but boss deep wala topic mara aapne .. awesome insights .. for me .. I do hv friends and the rest are people I dont like mentioning at all .. also as I mentioned ..I overdid yoga .. and anythng beyond necessary is paaiinnnn

  17. A New Beginning Says:

    thats a very comprehensive post!very nicely written.....makes one think of the friends whove been there but have sometimes shown traits of an unfamiliar soul:)

  18. Ria Says:

    People can be unpredictable....a person u call ur friend can turn into ur enemy without even u knowing abt it.

  19. BK Chowla, Says:

    Friends, of course till they prove otherwise.The moment I identify an enemy, I would just dump him/her.Who has time for enemies and fights in otherwise beautiful life

  20. Madhu Says:

    this shows that bik is super upset eh? alls good...enemies or friends..sometimes life does give u a lot of shit!

  21. wise donkey Says:

    literally if we were to take interactions, i would disagree. constantly dealing with enemies would just make one defensive and bitter and no way good for one'e emotional health.
    but when we act, if we think of our enemies reaction more than that of our friends we would be perhaps be better of.

    i think today we define friends too easily. a stranger on a social network shouldn't be an instant friend, or a new neighbour, who flatters you and makes you feel good. similarly an enemy isn't someone who doesn't agree with you.

    both friends and enemies should take time to evolve.

    too much expectations from a relationship can turn friends into enemies.

  22. Bikramjit Says:

    @Jaspreet:- yeah u r so right, i guess we get over dependent on them, and run to them with some of our problems, we managed perfectly fine before they came. Yeah true friend is Luck.. these days no one has time for anyone no wonder the world is going the way it is ...

    @Shilpa:- Thanks great to see you here. Hmm keeping in touch is important but it works both way one cant keep running after the other all the time. I like that forgive your enemies but dont forget there names..
    I dont I am a bad enemy, ha haha I still remember each and every one of mine :) thank you so much.

  23. Bikramjit Says:

    @Gayathri:- (c no ji :) ) he he Thanks yeah i know its good to have friends when one is sad or happy, but what if they give two hoots when you go to them ?

    yeah same here my best friend is in india we hardly talk, but when the fone rings an i say hello there is one word "OYE MANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN"
    and that makes you the happiest person in the world. Recently a few things happened in my life , some life turning episodes and it was thanks to friends who really cared for me that i waded through the crisis, This article was not supposed to be a rant on how my friends are it was a question who is better if the friends today behave the way they do sometimes ...

    and Oh i like this take tooo to have enemies to motivate you I did not think that way :) nnice one.

    @Sm:- yes very true what you say.. but when a friend becomes a enemy thats more dangerous .. :) and as i said vice versa is also s otrue ..

    thanks for liking and i hope you did get my point .. it was not a rant but a question

  24. Bikramjit Says:

    @Neha:- I guess the whole article has taken a different approach , this was not meant to be a rant on what my friends did .. It was a question to who is better a friend or a enemy .. the things were just as examples.

    And the Hmmmmm that i mentioned has been taken eniterly out of context and I am sorry for that, I respect my friends and i turst them and I love them ..

    Thats how i have been brought up and thats who I AM, I know its bad but when i make friends i make for life and i would do anything to keep it that way.
    This is not on one person , or what i felt hurt about Its got nothign to do with it , this was a question.

    and I am sure the very few lines in the article say that there is a logic behind it and my logic is What i wrote .. I am sorry if it has come out that way ...

    I am not angry or anything , yes hurt when it happened but then I cant help who hurts me or HOW..

    I beleive in one thing that all these years of my life that I have lived , All i have earned is Friendship all over the world , there are more friends i have who will and Have stood by me shoulder to shoulder when it is needed and THAT I AM PROUD OF... I am not rich and i have not earned millions but yes i am the wealthiest person when it comes to friends.

    And there is nothing for you to say sorry to me or having something personal towards me , this article was not supposed to be personal but for some reason it has become so...
    It seems that the people who i thought understood me DEFINITELY dont and that is SAD now ...

  25. Bikramjit Says:

    @Nethra:- welcome to my world .. EXACTLY MY POINT.. THANK YOU... oh yes it hurts and it does hurt very bad , hope people understand that. Thanks for replying to the article. and AMEN to what you say better o have enemies then friends who dont give a damn about you. ditto :) thank you so much.

    @Looking for maya:- welcome here and thanks for the visit, please do keep coming back and yes i am from Midlands.

    and yeh your tke is good too, have friends and rest are people .. :) i like that attitude too.. and like the yoga and as @Neha mentioned earlier anything beyond is PAIN toooo

    @a new beginning:- Yes it does doesn't it .. I am glad you liked this one, and thanks for the comment.

    @Ria:- yeah so true or people can say they are your friends but carry on not giving a Damn about you.. if they turn into a enemy its STILL GOOd cause at least they will givea DAMN about you then .. :) thank you so much

  26. Insignia Says:

    Hello Ms girlsguidetosurvival,

    I dont understand wat you are trying to say? Lets not talk about some people here.

    Are you sure you know the background about the incident Bikram or I are referring to?

    I again dont agree to Bikram here. I am very sorry but you want the person to hear you out every ti and anytime, its too much to ask for, be it friend, mother, wife, sister, brother.......

    If that person was behaving in a certain manner which was unexpected out of him/her, then there should be a reason. So try to figure out the reason, it might be genuine. Instead of making it public

    Peace and Peace :-)

  27. Insignia Says:


    I still think its not appropriate to nag or expect a person to listen to you if he/she was doing nothing that day or jobless or not depressed.

    Maybe he/she wanted to be alone, how do you know? It was only an online conversation. Whoever that person was, I still think its not appropriate to expect in friendship. I again reiterate. Its NOT give and take.

    Your friends would definitely take some time out, but not every time you expect them to!! Thats what my point is.

    We need to grow up!!! Thanks

  28. Bikramjit Singh Mann Says:

    @insignia:- Like i mentioned in the article and amended it .. THIS post is not a RANT on what my friends are doing or did ..

    It was an example i gave ot make a Point ..

    and the article is to know what is better PLEASE try to understand this, that the article was to ASK WHAT IS BETTER A FRIEND OR A ENEMY
    and my logic behind the same ..

    it was not what i EXPECT or dont dont expect form someone or what should happen or not happen...

    And this article is not to find a reason why someone did not listen to me or betrayed me or hurt me PLEASE.

    it is as the article started my logic to decide what is better a friend or enemy... who is better a hypocrite FRIEND or a good enemy

    who is better a Friend who will not bother about you but when they need you they want your help.. or a ENEMY

    thats what the question was .. this has come out completely out of context now about what is happening

    yes frienndship is not give adn take i agree with you that is EXACTLY MY POINT but the topic here is not to discuss what is friendship

    it is as the articles heading suggest FRIEND V/S ENEMY
    who is the better out of the two and why people say keep ur friends close but enemies CLOSER...


  29. Anonymous Says:

    Wow.. what is this so you think enemy is better then us..Mann you are bad mann ...

    I know what you are saying, I get your point definitely.
    btw thanks for the pics and No she is not divorcing me.

    chill out.. for me friends always will be better because i got friends like you.

  30. The Holy Lama Says:

    The more you expect the more sure is your ticket to grief. Detachment to an extent helps. Try it.

  31. rohini Says:

    Bikram, for me your post has just given the examples...which are absolutely right...every coin has two sides///and for this statement too ..the lighter and brighter side exists...where we all have atleast one grt frnd....and to that u will surely agree...enemies ...i thank god i dnt have any..moreover if there is any1 hidden somewhere..i dnt care...but i kn my i m known, understood, cared by my frnd..and thats all for me...for all of us too...hai na...

  32. Chandrika Shubham Says:

    I agree friends hurt more than enemies.

  33. Bikramjit Singh Mann Says:

    @Chowla sir:- Haanji i too would g o with that idea but then friend hurt more, life is indeed beautiful with friends thoug.

    @MAdhu:- :) thank you so much, Yeah some stupid little things make me suped upset and the worst thing is its not in my hands to solve them. I guess i got to start woking with my mind more often then the stupid dumb heart. and as you say indeed life does through a lot of shite on us, Good are those people who dont give a damn listen to there mind and walk on, but some like me sit and try to make the heart think right.. but it all falls on deaf ears.

    Thank you so much for sayign what you said, i guess you read the article he he hehe :)

  34. Bikramjit Singh Mann Says:

    @Wise Donkey:- yeah true what you say. i like your take yeah i think thats what the trouble is we define friends too easily. i agree with you completely we need to be very choosy even if they think we are abnoxious or bad or whatever, we need to choose the people who can be our friends after we think they are upto it , I would not call it selfish with the few experiences i have had. HAd enough of stupid situations the problem is the people or so caleld friends who create it they walk away and have a sound sleep as if nothing happend but ME on other hand am left thinking and not able to digest it all...

    so yeah i like your idea and hopefully will work on it more now .. thanks a lot..

    too much expectations but no harm in expecting what you give to them .. at least anyway i like ur idea give it time to evolve ...

  35. Bikramjit Singh Mann Says:

    This comment has been removed by the author.
  36. Bikramjit Singh Mann Says:

    @AJU:- yo handsome i am not bad .. AM I .. well if i have my way she will soon enough hah ahah a...

    thank you brother.. well in our case i think we have crossed the friendship we are more of brothers now .. so it does not go to u .. and i say so cause your WIFE IS SUPER BEAUTIFUL and i seem to have a crush on her

    ha ha hahaahahah :)

    @The holy lama:- haanji that is so true , the more we expect the more we are sad. and i shall definitely try the detachment therapy.. got enough things to worry about then making all this bring me down.. thanks a lot .

  37. wise donkey Says:

    i have plenty of acquaintances, with whom i interact frequently, but deep in my heart i know they aren't my friends. they won't know when i get hurt, when i need support and they would easily forget my birthdays if i didnt talk with them for a year.
    but life is like that, there are still people you remember and cherish, even if you cant find a way to reconnect to them.
    sure i wish i had more friends and they would treat me the way i treat them.
    but who said life is fair.

    but please dont surround urself with enemies, even figuratively. i dont know who u would define as an enemy. i would say a person who is a sadist and who would hurt you knowing you would get hurt.
    (i label those who are insensitve and hurt you without knowing as acquaintances.)
    its one thing to inteact with enemies another to confide be emotionally close to enemies.

    i think there is agood percentage of people out there, who become friend, just to feel good about themselves. who would talk with you endlessly in the beginning. and just when u start to warm up to them, they go in search of a new high (a new person) instead of holding it against them, i just go with the flow, and blame it all on a bunch of brain chemicals:)

    glad you could see my point of view. (i didn't think expect it:D)

  38. Punam Says:

    This comment has been removed by the author.
  39. Punam Says:

    U know, I read a few of the readers' reactions.. and I got this feeling that they are defending those friends (or maybe themselves?) that you have been talking about, who don't have time for heart-to-heart conversations.. I agree with your post completely, coz I feel that we approach friends only when things are very very down and only when we need to be assured.. or when we need a different perspective. Your post is very honest and to the point.. and a lot of issues that you spoke about, esp the last million dollar line, is really something that a lot of people do.. chubha hoga.. sach to kadwa hi lagta hai.. aisa kitni baar hua hai, ki I try to pour my heart out to my friends and suddenly, topic change kar di jati hai.. u know, changing the subject and the object.. us waqt to it reeally hurts. Similar to the situation u faced.
    Why we expect is because we give so much of ourselves even in friendships.. and we expect atleast that much, if not more..
    Enemies se dar lagta hai.. can't say much.

  40. Indian Home Maker Says:

    What you mean to say is so-called-friends are worse than enemies? I agree. Some enemies are ethical - they don't like your views, they don't like something else about you - they leave you alone or fight a decent, fair battle. Yes, they really are better than hypocrites who call themselves friends. I totally agree. Also such enemies could make great friends if that was possible.

    The difficult part is how does one know who is our real friend? Even the wisest get fooled because we can't look into people's hearts and some people can be sweet to talk to but not really worth being close to.

    I would say, it's good have a million acquaintances and be nice to all, be a fair acquaintance, don't gossip (bad type of gossip) about them, be polite, help them if it is convenient (YES, don't go out of your way) - and expect only that much back. Basic courtesies always, and support and help when it does not inconvenience them.
    If they don't add you to their BFF or friends list , ignore them - be your basic decent self and let them be - they are just acquaintances.

    And then choose one or two close friends, trust them and expect them to go out of their way very slowly.

    Be prepared, one can make wrong choices at first, and also for human faults in them and difference in how strongly they feel about friendships.

    Some people don't need many close friends, some like to be able to trust their friends. Some people think our enemies should be our friends' enemies too, some don't. Sometimes we can have one friend to turn for advice, another friend who turns to us for advice...

    Very interesting post, this is my first visit here, and what a long comment.

  41. UmaS Says:

    Life has taught me to be like this - its better to have a lot of people around me, acquaintances than real friends. I smile at everyone, talk to all, and I am happy.

    I choose my best friend - I think I've only one or two and I am damn possessive abt that. It takes time to form that bond and I am happy to wait, till it grows strong.

    The others are just friends - I dont get hurt if they dont tell me something or if they dont call me - its better like this. :)

    Take care.

  42. Bikramjit Singh Mann Says:

    @Rohini:- Thanks for saying that. YEah true each coin has two sides.. Yes i do agree with one great friend I got a few great friends, who will give up there time and anything they are doing if they know i am sad ..
    and Thank god you dont have enemies just shows how good a person you are. :)

    yeah i agree with you.

    @Chandrika Shubham:- thanks for agreeing they do dont they.

  43. Bikramjit Singh Mann Says:

    @WD:- YEah maybe i shud also start to beleive in that , that all the people i interact are not friends but just ACQUAINTANCES.

    Yeah i do agree withyou. and yeah people who we try to get close to do walk away when they find someone else sad fact of life.. and I like it ITS the brain chemicals FAULT.. all of it :)

  44. Bikramjit Singh Mann Says:

    @Punam:- Thank you for agreeing with me. I agree with you thats why they are friends cause we want to share it with them. I am a bit on the emotional side so little things to hurt me , but then thats my problem nothing for others to worry about, though i do beleive that Friends shud understand that.

    THank you so much for such a lovely comment.

    @Indian Home Maker:- Welcome here thats for the visit please keep visiting.
    Thanks for agreeing and getting my point of the article, yeah true enemeies could make a best friend.

    I know hard to beleive who is our friend and who not, because people change there colors every now and then its confusing how these relations work,

    And yes i will try to do what you have said. Wrong choices of Beleive me when i say I have made TONS.. got a long list of them :)

    and the long comment no I write more than that :) please no comment is long keep them coming ....

  45. Bikramjit Singh Mann Says:

    @UmaS:-:) hmmm yeah same here, the people who i thought as friends are the ones who betray and that too at the moment when they are needed. So i have grown use to it.. IT hurts but thats about it cant do anything about it.

    I got a few friends who are my own but my bad luck they are very far away from me, but i know they will create havoc if they know someone hurt me.

    Thanks for the wishes and thanks for the lovely comment.

  46. Angels Never Lie Says:

    well sometimes enemies are better than some not so worthy friends. But some friends can be called as friends forever as they do care for us and we are special for them. So rather than having whole bunch of useless friends its better to have some good friends in life.

  47. A Says:

    I am back from India vacation and trying to catch up.

    Bik, I think you are referring to people who pretend to be friends....not real friends.

    Of course people who pretend to be friends and manage to deceive you are worst than people who are known enemies.

  48. Ananth Majumdar Says:

    hey bikram,
    Looks like a wierd reasoning, but guess what it seems so true. I am guilty of being a fair weather friend but as with everything in life, experience does teach us a thing or too. Nice post, definitely made me remember how fragile relationships are and how much nurturing is required.

  49. Bikramjit Says:

    @Angels Never Lie:- HEy welcome to my blog please keep visitng, yeah you say ight rather then a bunch of useless friends its better ot have one good one... THank you

    @A:- you been enjoying in india where did you go , whats the gossip, what all did you do .. OH man now i want to go tooooo its been ages... WElcome back.. how is the jet lag :)

    @Ananth Majumdar:- welcome here, yeah weird thats how my mind works in weird waysss.. experience does matter and wise is one who learns from experience.. thanks for the visit and the comment.. do come back again :)

  50. Anonymous Says:


    You need to keep your enemies closer coz you need to watch them always. They might hurt us real bad that we may not get a second chance.

    We need to keep our friends close to help them and be there for them when they need us. In your time of need at least one of them will be there for you, when you have many around you.

    Trust and love are something we will get, only if we give it unconditionally. I am blessed with good friends who stick with me through thick and thin. Thank you to all my friends and hope God bless you with so many such friends too...

  51. Bikramjit Says:

    @Stranger:- I perfectly understand your point, enemies may not give us a second chance but WE may survive if a friend does it we will not even Survive.

    and yes if we give it unconditionally we might get it back.. I am also blessed with such beautiful people around me, this was not to havea go at anyone in particular just my logic about what goes around.

  52. Raj - Only name sake !! Says:

    If a friend hurts you , then he is no longer your friend!! so consider him as your enemy and take it easy!!

  53. Dhakkanz Says:

    Thats why I wrote this small post - . It is too true that relationships don't hold that value as it used to earlier.

  54. Bikramjit Singh Mann Says:

    Raj :- Oh yes but why take it easy NOW THE GAMES BEGINNNNN .. dont you think... lets get them HEAD ON is my motto .. u live only once might as well go with a BANG...

    Dhakkanz :- THanks for the comment and welcome to my blog. YEah its true enemies are more trustworthy .. :)